On many sites, the Google Friend Connect widget (and its counterpart the Followers gadget for Blogger) will not appear at all or rarely on Firefox.  A solution was published by Google (see “Why is my Google Friend Connect rarely displaying on my blog???” but it seems appropriate only for a group of sites using Prototype.js and remains without effect on other sites. This article proposes another solution for this display problem of Google Friend Connect and of the Followers gadget on Firefox for those for whom the solution offered by Google is not appropriate.  It has been tested successfully with different types of templates - including those produced by Artisteer - and for sites hosted on Blogger or not.  A quick way for testing if this solution will be suitable for your site - without having to first modify it - is also provided along the way. Read more at coding-paparazzi.sylvainlafontaine.com

The author makes a huge effort to force her point of view on non-monogamy when she questions how “screwing other people” can contribute to the sanctity of love. Her litany of examples is designed to make non-monogamy sound callous and dirty, and, again, all about sex. Removing the sexual mud-slinging, the sanctity-of-love argument stems from a fear that love is scarce and limited; that love and intimacy with one lover must necessarily take away love, or the quality of love, from another lover. If you’re monogamous, that makes intuitive sense; but when you examine the feelings behind that intuition, it’s not LOVE that is being diminished. It’s actually the risk of “dirtying” the comfort of love with other threatening feelings. The threat is emotions of fear (jealousy, envy, challenge to self-worth, etc) that seem to take away from the purity of love. This is understandable, but fear needs to be exposed for what it is, not mixed with the love somehow.Read more at www.care2.com

Whilst polyamory is an interesting concept, and no doubt works for some people. (The creator of Wonder Woman lived in a polyamorous relationship with two women, who continued to live together after his death,) it’s not for everyone and it’s not a solution to infidelity. Why? Because if anything, polyamory requires being more trustworthy and more honest with your partners that monoamory does. When you’re in a traditional relationship, the rules are simple. You don’t go outside the relationship, if you do, you are a lying little cheat. When you’re in a more open relationship, then you have to be able to trust that your partner is acting within the bounds you set up whilst he or she is out and about spreading his or her love around. For this reason, most open relationships have plenty of rules and safeguards set in place to try and keep the people in them safe. Read more at www.sodahead.com

Monogamy is under siege. But not from uncloseted polyamorists, adolescent ”hook-up” advocates, radical feminists, godless communists or some vast homosexual conspiracy. The culprit is our own biology.

Researchers in animal behaviour have long known that monogamy is uncommon in the natural world, but only with the advent of DNA ”fingerprinting” have we come to appreciate how truly rare it is. Genetic testing has recently shown that even among many bird species - long touted as the epitome of monogamous fidelity - it is not uncommon for 6 per cent to 60 per cent to be fathered by someone other than the mother’s social partner. We now know scientifically that social monogamy does not necessarily imply sexual monogamy.

In Heartburn, the lead character complains about her husband’s philandering and gets this response: ”You want monogamy? Marry a swan!” But that wouldn’t do the trick. Scientists have found that even swans play around. Read more at www.smh.com.au

As Brooke points out, we are too concerned with what other people think of us. I think some people worry that, if we all did whatever we wanted to do, there would be anarchy. But if we do what feels right to us in a conscious, authentic way, I think following our hearts is a far healthier way to live than the affairs, lies and pretending we do at present in our society. Are affairs healthier than polyamory? I don’t think so. Is pretending to be straight rather than gay, through fear of others opinions, a better way to live than being who you really are? Again, I don’t think so. We’re all different. We need to learn to get in touch with and love who we really are, including our unique preferences and desires. Read more at reachourdreams.com

Still, something seems missing from the open marriage argument. My take on it is, more than providing an outlet to find new partners, it may be better seen as a way to keep from losing old ones. This is something I rarely hear mentioned, the tragedy that in our culture of serial monogamy, we leave old partners… those with whom we spent so many years, however haplessly, trying to find some love and meaning.

The other thing I miss in writings about open relationships is an emphasis on how we can care about and care for those we love, whether they be one or more. Once the numbers issue is settled in anyone’s mind, we are still back to square one: how can we actually connect with the heart of another person. Read more at diaryofajohn.blogspot.com